Some children spend only a short time at a school because their parents change jobs on a regular basis and obviously the move is unavoidable. If you do have a choice about moving them, however, then you should consider the decision carefully.
The first thing to bear in mind is that younger children in particular can be extremely fickle about school – and their playmates. One day they have best friends and the next they’ve had a falling out and don’t want to go to school.
Sometimes, a child has been happy at a school but then changes classes and starts feigning sickness to avoid going. Often, this is because they’re missing the familiarity of their last teacher – and they will probably settle given a little time.
In some schools, they “mix up” classes as children progress through the school and sometimes the problem is that their close friends have now gone into a different class. Again, chances are that given a little time they will find new friends to play with so don’t take any decisions about moving to a new school until at least the end of the first term.
Bullying is one of the most common reason for parents deciding to change schools – but quite often, moving your child is not the answer. If your child is timid (or possibly a little different from others) then they could be the target of bullies at their next school too.
Contact School
The best course of action is to get in touch with your current school and explain that your child is being bullied and is unhappy. Most schools have a policy to deal with bullying and would always want to be told about the problem. If the problem is a teacher – for example if your child says she’s afraid of the teacher – then make an appointment to discuss the situation with the school. Lots of teachers shout – but some children find it frightening.
It may be that you want to move your child because they aren't making good progress and you think they'll do better at another school. This might well be the case - but you should speak to the school before making any decision.
It could be that the problem lies with your child, rather than the school in which case you will be putting them through the trauma of a new school for no good reason.
Children can be affected by all sorts of things such as tension at home, bereavement or simply laziness! Sometimes they sit next to a friend and are distracted - in which case the simple remedy is for the teacher to move them to different tables.
If a change of school is unavoidable, then do all you can to make sure your child doesn’t find the move too distressing.
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When a child is moving to another school in the same area for personal reasons, then try to find another child of the same age who already attends the school. Arrange for them to meet up or go to the park together so there’s at least one familiar face when they go there.
If your child is upset about moving to a school a long way off, then give them the opportunity to tell you about their feelings. Invariably if they have close friends at their current school, they will ask how soon it will be before they see them again.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Trips Back
If you can travel back within a few weeks or so – even if it’s quite a long journey – then reassure your child that they will be seeing their friends again. (Hopefully by then they will have already settled and made new friends – but if you tell them before the move that they can’t come back, they are likely to be very upset.)
Of course, if you are moving abroad then it’s difficult to promise a return visit in the near future – but maybe you could suggest keeping in touch by letter and postcards. If they are old enough to use the telephone or email, then make sure they swap details with their friends so they can keep in touch. You could also consider getting a webcam so they can ‘see’ their friends whenever they like.
Who do I contact regarding a traumatic dilemma created by a primary school? My granddaughter has only just been told by the school that she has not reached attainment levels in Math and English but all other subjects and effort are high! They have decided therefore to keep her down a year! She is quiet shy but happy at school and have good friendships within her class. She has known her friends in class since play-school (3 years old). The ironic thing is she will join her old class for her math and English lessons ! This has caused her much anxiety as the new children are younger ( some with behavioural problems). They are much shorter (she is a very tall 9 year old) She stands head and shoulders above them all. She is already saying ‘I’m not good enough’ She is such a happy outgoing little girl and I believe this decision might have detrimental effects! She is so worried and upset by this decision. The school had only just informed her (just before the summer holiday starts) and adamant she is to be kept down! Why can’t they just provide the additional support in her weak areas in her original class? Is it all about league tables? This is a fairly new procedure brought in by a fairly new headmistress to the school and in my opinion the school standard has slipped since her arrival. There is also a teacher at the school who should not be teaching at all! ( but That’s a different matter and it seems nothing can be done about it despite the many complaints from parents )
I feel this being ‘kept down’ is a totally wrong decision but do not seem to have any say in the matter. Advice please?
Best Regards
Sent from my iPhone
The change will be in December .
The reason why is that we consider private middle school would be better for our 5th grader.
The problem is that to reserve this spot he needs to change right away and living all his friends right at the last year . They all have been together since KG.
He is very sad , but understand the reason behind it .
He knows that for middle school things will change . But he is so use to his friends and never wanted to change them.
I could try to keep him until the end of the year but he won’t have the benefits of entering and catching up with the different currriculum and will start with all new kids middle school .
We think if he starts early he can still make friends , because he knows someone in 4th grade and they all play together . 3rd 4th and 5th. That will also give him a chance to have his brother around .
But I feel very sad that he is very sad to live his friends
Please advice .
Carolina
Please help us to change his school
Since my child has a 504, her mom thinks it is best to keep her in that school since she started improving since her 504 has been enacted. I believe the improvement would be vastly larger if she were to attend a school that was graded above average. Her mom wont budge because the school is minutes from her home and that means if she moves schools, she has to travel to take her to school.
She wont speak with me and we have mediation in more than 2 week. School starts in about 10 days and Mom is riding the clock in silence until school starts so she can say she already started the year so lets keep her there.... Hopefull a hearing shortly after.
What can i do to show that it would benefit my child to go to a school that is an 8/10 rating so she can stop going to a school that is a 4/10 rating?
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